Tag Archives: Daniel the Husband

Chapter 52: So Close!

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And I was doing so well! Twenty days in a row is the longest into November I’ve gone for National Blog Posting Month so I’d say I didn’t do too terribly.  I shold have scheduled some posts for the week of Thanksgiving. We were so beat by the time we got to Memphis on Wednesday night that I completely forgot about a post for the day. After that it was just easy to give up for the week and visit with Daniel’s family.

On Thanksgiving Day I got up early with my little cooking schedule and cooked Thanksgiving dinner with the help of Daniel’s Aunt Jan (not to mention her brother who sent up TWO trays of homemade dressing). We planned to eat at noon and the ten of us were digging in at 12:25. Success!

Daniel climbed up in the attic and pulled down the toy box that his grandad made for him when he was little.  It needs a little bit of love to fix a few things and I had to spend some quality time with it and a bottle of Goo Gone to peel off a sticker, but we are so thrilled to be able to have such a meaningful piece in the baby’s room!

Daniel’s childhood toy box. Ready to come home to our nursery.

Goo Gone vs a 25 year old sticker

Scrub Scrub Scrub

I give up. Time to resort to the fingernails.

Success! The leftover rectangle is even kind of a sweet reminder of Tiny Daniel.

What better toy for a kid than the best dog on the planet?

Now we just need to find someone to fix the joints and the bottom.  The toy box isn’t put together with nails, it has something like tongue and groove joints on the edges holding it together, which it neat, but a few are pulling apart. There is a missing brace on the bottom as well so it doesn’t sit evenly right now, but once we get those fixed it is going to be the perfect addition to the nursery. The room is still the guest bedroom full of junk right now but that will be changing next week in Week 2 of our Simplicity Experiment.  Can’t wait!

 

Chapter 51: Simplifying our stuff…the journey begins

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Tonight we met with our Simplicity Experimental Collective to share our decisions on what excesses we will be eliminating from our lives over the next 4 weeks. Some are cutting back on excess stuff. Some are cutting back on stress by getting more sleep or carving out more open time during the day. Some are pointing their aim at food. It was clear that a lot of thought went into everyone’s decision making process over the last week. I am enjoying this chance to get to know friends on new levels and to begin to get to know new friends through this experience. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Experimental Collectives are the way to go for me. This format reaches me in a way that church small groups never have.

Our homework between now and next Tuesday is to work up written plans on how we will execute our experiments   For some it will be a simple (not easy, just simple) plan: don’t go on Facebook or drink coffee.  For others it will require a lot of research and planning ahead; choosing how to radically pair down foods in a healthy and impactful way and planning menus in advance. For Daniel and me it means deciding how we want to go about getting rid of our extra stuff.  Will we go by genre of stuff? One room each week? Number of items per day? Will we sell things on Craigslist? Donate to thrift stores? Hold items back to possibly use in a Vintage Fellowship sale or thrift store booth to raise money for a cause? What measures will we use to decide if we are being successful along the way? I do know that we are both extremely motivated to make this move. We will have some hard decisions to make in the next several weeks and I wouldn’t be surprised if some tears were shed. This is a tiny house and the two of use have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years living on our own. I’m sure we will probably be learning a lot about which attachments to objects are healthy and which need to be broken. It’s a lofty goal and Daniel doesn’t think it’s possible, but I want to get this house feeling empty before we start adding lots of baby furniture and items. That may not happen in the next six weeks. It may take a few rounds of purging before we get there, but I’m determined. It might mean some sacrifices, some of them painful, but I think it will be worth it in the long run.

Wish us luck and stay tuned!

Chapter 12: EUREKA!

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Eureka Springs, that is.

Daniel and I have been saying for over a year that we wanted to make it up to Eureka Springs to poke around but just never got around to it. There was an Ozark Folk Festival this weekend and it was a pretty day so we headed up this afternoon for a quick visit.

Road Trip!!


The Hill Benders–Love that Bluegrass!

We wandered through the shops and when we came back by there was a drum circle! It was actually pretty cool. I might have to go to one in town one of these days

Everyone always says, “If you go to Eureka, you have to go to Geraldi’s.” So we did. It was pretty tasty. I would recommend it if you’re in the area and wanting some pizza. Of course, they were closing up shop at 7pm like every place else, so you better get there early.

Chapter 10: Brings A Whole New Meaning to “Hotter than a whore in church”

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For several weeks our pastor Robb has mentioned every Sunday that maybe it would be cool if everyone dressed like Bible characters or just anyone from church history on Halloween. At first it was “Wouldn’t it be LAME if we did that?” And then “Wouldn’t it be FUNNY if we did that?” And it finally ended up the week before Halloween with “OK, I can pretty much guarantee you a few extra jewels in your crown up in Heaven if you dress up next Sunday.” Which is basically a dare. And I’m defenseless against a good dare.

So Daniel and I hemmed and hawed at the last minute trying to think up some funny costumes.

Daniel suggested I be a double rainbow, all the way.

Cause a rainbow is a Bible character.

But I didn’t have anything to make a rainbow costume. Instead Daniel used an old tunic costume he had and I used a big pretty piece of fabric from Thailand, some Mardi Gras beads and the walking stick I bought for Daniel at my family reunion year before last and a pillow for a fake baby belly.

You see, we’ve been moving through Genesis this year in church. A few months ago we came to the the story of Judah and Tamar. Quick recap–Tamar marries Judah’s son and he is struck down by God. So she marries her brother-in-law. He doesn’t want to father a child with her like he’s supposed to because it would be considered his dead brother’s kid. When he is remiss in his duties, God also strikes him down. Judah sends Tamar away and promises she can marry the other brother when he grows up. But he breaks his promise. And Tamar pretends to be a prostitute and Judah helps her get into a family way when Judah comes to town. She hangs on to his staff (family reunion walking stick) and cord (Mardi Gras beads) to prove who her Baby Daddy is when she gets a big belly and everyone in town wants to do away with her what with her no-husband-having, person-growing situation. But she busts out Judah’s belongings and he’s all “Oh yah, my bad.” The end.

Nice story, lots of lessons to be learned. By grown ups. In the sermon. For my part, it’s my responsibility to write the Kids Church lesson plans. Riiiiiiiight. So Robb attempted to tell me right before this lesson came up how important it was for me to be planning my lessons on EXACTLY what we were studying in church each week. But he couldn’t even keep a straight face through the first sentence. And the kids sang Father Abraham and glued macaroni to construction paper. Not really. I don’t actually have them do macaroni crafts but I think maybe I should now that I mention it. hmmm

Anyway. In closing, the scenario Sunday morning went like this.

We were totally late for church and walked in the door in our super costumes just as Robb was saying that he really thought more people would come dressed up but no one did. Except for my friend Wendy who dressed up as Michelle Duggar and I didn’t even get to see her. Boo. Enter us:

And cue the laughter. Someone asked if we were Mary and Joseph and, instead of answering, I glared around, shook my stick and beads, pointed to my belly and glared at Daniel. After a beat Robb yelled out “You’re Judah and Tamar?!?!?” It was awesome.

And then all my Sunday school kids thought I was actually pregnant and kept asking me if I was having a boy baby or a girl baby. Less awesome.

But we ended the morning with my new favorite quote of all time coming from Robb.

“Nobody dresses up like a fake prostitute like you, Erin.”

It’s true.

Nobody does.

Chapter 9: Thou shalt not defame the name of Dorothy Gale

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I haven’t posted in over a month, bad blogger, how very indicative of my lack of follow through and an ironic example of the whole reason I started this blog yada yada yada. Ok, now that that’s out of the way let’s continue like it never happened. Also sort of an ironic example of my character flaws. Moving right along.

This month is apparently National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo aka “The theme with the most awkward and sort of dirty sounding acronym ever” month. Even though the name is a little bit lame and I’m 3 days late starting I’m going to attempt to take part. I haven’t actually read anything about it yet other than I’m supposed to make a commitment to post every day of the month of November. That might be a little bit difficult logistically speaking during Fake Thanksgiving and Actual Thanksgiving but I’ll figure something out.

I don’t really have a reason for not blogging, I just haven’t sat down to do it. Every time I’ve had some free time I’ve been obsessively playing New Super Mario Bros on the Wii. But this last weekend was Halloween and I resolved to write a little something about the kick-off to the Holiday Season. Mostly because of something disturbing Daniel and I encountered at his DJ cousin’s big annual Halloween Bash.

OK, I’m accustomed to the concept of a majority of girls’ Halloween costumes being “Slutty _____”. Especially college girls. I usually prefer to think up something witty or culturally relevant so I wish I could say I’ve never partaken in this (newish?) tradition. Sadly I cannot honestly make that assertion. I had some friends in college who I’m still quite close to today who threw epic parties. EPIC. One year for the Halloween party we all had a meeting and wrote costume ideas on little pieces of paper and put them in a bowl. My suggestion was “Bertha the Bald-Headed Ballerina” but, sadly, no one pulled that one from the bowl since we all made multiple suggestions. I drew “naughty nurse.” Very inspired. But I am a slave to the rules of the game when it comes to theme parties so I scoured the earth and located an actual vintage nurse’s uniform. I hemmed the HECK out of it so that it was so short if I bent over slightly you’d see the bright red boy shorts I purchased for the occasion and borrowed a lacy red push-up bra from a friend. I felt very daring. But that pales in comparison to the travesty I witnessed last Friday night.

Daniel and I were hanging out at the club checking out everyone’s costumes when a “Dorothy” started walking our direction. She wore a little white top with poofy cap sleeves that was just big enough to cover her girls. I leaned over and yelled in Daniel’s ear over the music “I’ve seen lingerie bigger than that!” And then she passed us by and my eyeballs almost caught fire. The following is what I saw:

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

That is not a costume. Those are SEQUINED UNDIES! Which, BTW, just makes me itchy to even think about. I’m not totally sure what the little bowed bands are supposed to be, garters I think. Home girl doesn’t even know those are supposed to be holding up stockings. Or maybe it’s supposed to be worn that way. Who knows? I’m sure not Googling it.

I guess I can’t judge too much. I did, after all grab my boyfriends arm and scream “You have GOT to take a picture of her @$$!!!!” I was self-aware enough to realize immediately what a weird thing that is to ask of your boyfriend but I couldn’t help myself. My mind was blown. So many questions. Does she KNOW that it’s almost November and COLD outside? And yet she chose to leave the house in pretty much nothing but panties? What, exactly, was she hoping to accomplish by dressing this way? I don’t think I’m a prude. I have no problem with the human body. It’s a beautiful thing. I don’t necessarily think poorly of women who dress provocatively in public. I do wonder WHY? I just can’t relate. Maybe if I were as fit as this young woman I’d feel differently but I don’t think so. Still, I do have one major problem with this concept.

You probably think, from the direction this seems to be going, that I’m about to launch into a tirade either about modesty or about the right of a woman to walk down the street buck neckid and not have it be sexualized because women aren’t just sexual creatures created for the enjoyment of men everywhere. But that’s not where this is going.

Some things are just too sacred to mess with for me.

I don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.
I do not tolerate vegetables or fungus on my pizza.
Don’t touch me with your feet.
And DO NOT.
Under ANY circumstances.
In any way, shape or form.
And I mean EVER.

Disrespect anything that is involved with, pertains to or represents The Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy Gale is a sweet little innocent farm girl.
She should not be part of your disgusting little perv fantasy.

If I had been a little bit tipsy I might very well have waltzed up to her half-naked self and given her a lecture on how to pay proper respect to the classic works of Mr. L. Frank Baum and the iconic image of the radiant Judy Garland.

Instead I was just too distracted trying not scratch my behind just thinking about sequined undies.

Chapter 2: Did somebody throw a bucket of soapy water on me? Because I’m melting.

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You know it’s been hot when you comment about it not being so bad out because it’s cooler than the day before.  And it’s still 100 degrees.

Because I am a crazy person I got up and went yard-saleing this morning and ended up with a couple of dandy items.  Last night over pizza and Dogma I asked Daniel if he wanted to get up early and go with me.  He just stared at me.  I think he was waiting for the punch line.  Because he was SLEEPY and planned on sleeping as long as humanly possible on Saturday morning.  Both of us probably got about 4 or 5 non-consecutive hours of sleep Thursday night due to our exciting meteor shower adventures.  We actually DID make it out at 3am to watch!  I was impressed with us.  It was quite an adventure.  We just hopped in the car and drove East looking for a field or open spot to pull into away from the city lights.  We finally ended up in the driveway to a field with just enough space between the gate and the road for the car.  I spread a blanket on the hood of the car and leaned back to enjoy.

Then Daniel heard a noise and saw a flash of white in the field about 3 feet in front of the car.  I saw a flash of black.  (Does black actually *flash*?) I’ll give you a moment to imagine we might be seeing lumbering through the weeds.

Daniel started flashing his phone in the direction of the disturbance trying to catch a glimpse of what he thought was a cute little bunny.  I on the other hand was grasping at every ounce of willpower I could muster to NOT scurry up onto the tippity top of the car. Because bunnies don’t  lumber.  You know what’s black and white and lumbers?  Stumped?  Here is a little hint….

imageBingo.

When I was pretty sure I could concentrate on anything other than being totally, completely still, I begged Daniel to stop flashing his phone at the dangerous little critter and to please.stop.talking.  I just knew I was going to have to have to call in “Stanky” the next day.  I don’t actually get any personal or vacation days until October when I’ve been there 6 months but I’m pretty sure I could have gotten a free pass on that one.

Thankfully, Pepe Le Pew kept going on his/her merry jaunt through the pasture and I was able to go to work the next morning.  Sleep-deprived but not in need of a tomato bath.