Chapter 56: Cholestasis of Pregnancy–I am really bad at being pregnant

Posted on by
2

You know what is ironic?

Being released from the hospital where you have been informed that the absolute LATEST your baby will be allowed to arrive is 7 weeks from now at 36 weeks gestation and coming home to a letter from your insurance company telling you that it is IMPERATIVE that you let your baby cook the full 40 weeks and giving a bullet pointed list of all of the horrible things that can happen to your baby if you voluntarily schedule delivery before then.

It’s very helpful to your emotional well-being, let me tell you.

Apparently I couldn’t just call it a day at kidney stones and have an uneventful third trimester. Instead I went to a regularly scheduled appointment hoping to get the go-ahead to take Benadryl for my itchy feet and got admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with Cholestasis of Pregnancy.

Something is wrong with my gallbladder and it is not draining bile from my liver like it’s supposed to. Instead, all that toxic goo is just spilling over into my bloodstream. And it makes me itchy. So very, very itchy. There are other symptoms. Some of which have to do with what color things are in the toilet department so I’ll just let you Google to your heart’s content in that area. It’s not really likely to be harmful to me, just really annoying and uncomfortable. The baby is another story. Still birth is a big risk with this condition because the toxins can pass to the baby. So we walk a fine line of keeping the baby in until it has time to mature enough to survive in the outside world and keeping it safe from the toxins in my blood.

So I am taking a medicine called Urso that will hopefully lower my bile acid numbers and I will be closely monitored twice a week to check the baby’s heart rate and stress level as well as my acid levels. If things stay low enough to be safe and the baby stays healthy, we will get to continue gestating for 7 more weeks and then induce labor (boo) to bring the baby 4 weeks early. If my numbers get too high or the baby goes into distress, we’ll have an even earlier baby.

In the meantime I try not to scratch too much and try not to worry too much and fail at both. I have bruised myself from clawing and I can barely function because the itching never goes away and is so distracting. I do ok if I can stick close to home and rotate ice packs on my itchy spots constantly. This also includes lots of sitting with my feet in ice cold water and wet towels wrapped around my legs. I attempted to go back to work today and only lasted a few hours before coming home to work from here where I could cover myself in ice packs. It looks like I might be working from home a bit longer, depending on if the Urso kicks in to lower my levels enough to help with the itching.

It’s been almost a week since that terrifying night in the hospital where the on-call Dr. told us she’d be happy to get 2 more weeks out of me. Thankfully my regular Dr. has a more positive outlook so far but the constant uncertainty of what could happen next and worrying that my own body is hurting my baby is difficult to deal with. We just try to stay positive and focus on the success stories of people we know who have been through this and came out the other end just fine with a healthy baby while trying to be mentally prepared for the other possible outcomes. If I have to be itchy for 7 more weeks, then so be it. But I’d rather have my medicine work on my acid levels AND my itchiness so that I’m not clawing at myself while I still get to cook this munchkin for 7 more weeks.

 

Chapter 55: Retroactive Baby Update

Posted on by
Reply

This poor kid. I fear that, after this day and age of people documenting every little thing, our kid is going to come home from school some day and ask, eyes filled with confused tears, why THEY don’t have a snazzy memory book filled with weekly updates of their gestation and belly pictures of me.  ”Didn’t you love me, Mama? Didn’t you WANT me?” they’ll ask with a shaking voice. I’ll have to reply, “Oh, sweetie.  Mama was afraid that if she wrote it all down she’d actually remember what it was like and then never have another baby ever again.” Plus it would have been really boring. But, just in case it will save me some time and maybe therapy money down the road, here is a quick recap of the past 6 months.

Weeks 4-8: Shhhhh! Nobody knows about the baby other than a few people at work who have noticed Mama’s constant emergency trips to the bathroom. Mama doesn’t look any fatter. Probably because she’s either barfing or trying not to barf every second of every day.

Week 9: Granny and Pike know! They are very excited. Mama’s pants are starting to get tight but she’s still barfing barfing barfing. She can’t wait for the first trimester to be over so she can quit barfing. Also she hasn’t pooped in two weeks and she’s not too thrilled about that.

Week 12: First trimester is over! We’ve announced our happy news on Facebook and on Mama’s blog. Still barfing but the Dr. says that will definitely be gone by week 15. There are also many naps at this point. Growing a human is exhausting!

Week 15: Mama’s Dr. is a lying sack of poo.  Mama would like to punch her real hard but it would probably make Mama barf. Everything else does. Mama is starting to feel little somethings in her belly but she’s not sure if it’s baby or if she just needs to toot.

Week 20: Mama only barfs first thing in the morning now! Or if she waits too long to eat. Or if she smells something weird. Baby movements are clear at this point and sometimes Daddy can even feel little movements from the outside. He says it feels like Mama has gas. He’s so sweet. We had an anatomy scan and it looks like the baby is coming along nicely with everything where it is supposed to be. Only the ultrasound tech knows the sex, not even Mama’s lying Dr. knows because, on top of lying about morning sickness, she also apparently can’t keep a secret.

Week 23: Mama had a strange pain the day after Christmas that went something like this: Back spasm? Braxton Hicks? Dear Lord I’m dying something is wrong call the Dr. NOW!!!!! Turns out Mama has a kidney stone (or a bunch, who knows?). And kidney stones hurt real bad, mmkay? Lots of water, heating pads, scalding hot baths and the occasional guilt-ridden pain pill are helping Mama endure the pain that some people are telling her is worse than childbirth. Mama didn’t want to take the pills at all but she was no match for a worried Daddy AND visiting Granny and Pike. If they discover later that they cause some horrible birth defect like being allergic to chocolate, you can blame your Granny. Also, the not pooping is back. What the heck?

Week 24: Mama saw her Dr. this week and her Dr. basically said “Yah, nothing we can do. Suck it up.” So Mama cried in her car for a long time then drove home where she pretty much cried the rest of the night. Because having kidney stones when you are pregnant sucks the big one. She would rather be moving furniture out of the guest bedroom to get ready to set up the nursery but instead she’s stuck on the couch attached to her heating pad most of the time.

So there you are, sweet child of mine. That takes care of the first 6 months of your existence. I will try to remember to do a weekly update on Thursday or Friday every week for the rest of your stay in my belly so you don’t have to feel like a total outcast among your pretentious little hipster spawn classmates with their fancy “When I was a zygote” storybooks. Night Night!

Chapter 54: Ringing in 2012 pregnant and with a kidney stone

Posted on by
Reply

Everyone I know is being all cool and doing introspective or insightful things like my friend Natalie from Him & Her Designs who is making goal lists for the new year or ambitious things like planning to create amazing new art every week for 52 weeks straight like my friend Stacie at Gingiber or mysterious things like my friend Vanessa from Vintage Butterfly Mosaics who is doing SOMETHING cool but won’t tell anybody what it is yet.

I had big plans to post a beautiful recap of our first Christmas at home together and maybe even include a growing belly pic next to the Christmas tree followed by my own insightful New Year post. Instead I’ve been sitting on the couch for a week with a heating pad on my back thinking that my number one goal for 2013 is to not spend it peeing through a kitchen strainer.

Kidney Stones should not be heaped upon a pregnant woman. It’s just not fair. Frankly, it’s pretty rude and I do not approve.

Chapter 53: Simplicity Experimental Collective Week Two

Posted on by
Reply

We did a pretty decent job in the past week on our Experimental Collective homework. For the “action” phase of our 6 weeks we planned to spend a week at a time on the following areas.

  • Week 1:  Living Room and Sun Room
  • Week 2: Master Bedroom
  • Week 3: Spare Bedroom (Future Nursery)
  • Week 4: Laundry/Storage Room

We realized fairly quickly that two rooms was a little ambitious but we really didn’t have quite as much to get rid of in either of these rooms as we use most of what was in the living room and I just recently cleaned and organized the sun room. The only thing we ended up doing in there this time was pull more books from our bookshelves to trade in for credit at Dickson Street Book Shop and then donate the leftovers. I could have probably spent a week going through my craft and knitting supplies and just reorganizing the books. SOME DAY I will have those books organized by the Dewey Decimal System.  It’s my dream. I’l also have some cool program that I can use my phone to scan in each book’s bar code and have a full catalog of every book we own.  Then people will have to officially check books out if they want to borrow them. *sigh*

In the living room we added to a box of DVDs that we don’t really care about keeping. We’ll be taking these over to Hastings to get some trade-in credit there. I cleared off the hutch that had become a catch-all spot and put up the nativity set. Even though we don’t have our tree yet, that, our Advent calendar and constant Christmas music make me feel festive. I also cleared the bottom shelf of the book shelf of the photos and photo albums to keep Luna’s dog toys and pet supplies in an old fruit box I got at a swap meet this summer for just a few bucks.  The photo albums went down on the bookshelves in the sun room and I put our photo books that I’ve had printed on the walls in hooks for hanging plates.  It’s a handy way to showcase them so that you can actually see the cover art instead of just the spine as they sit on a bookshelf.

As nice as it feels to have cleared out a little clutter, I didn’t personally feel anything spiritual or clarifying in week one.  I didn’t have a hard time getting rid of anything I threw away, pulled aside to sell or got ready to donate.  Week two has begun a little more difficultly, though.

Tonight I started by clearing off my nightstand; tossing trash and organizing. That was not a problem. Neither was going through the night stand drawers and getting rid of undies and worn out socks. It became a little more painful when I switched to the pile of clothes on top of my dresser and my PJs and workout clothes drawer and the bins under the bed. Some of the skirts I put in the donate pile are skirts that I have really loved over the years. However, I am following the advice of a dear friend and getting rid of pretty much my entire pre-baby wardrobe unless it’s something I just know I can’t get rid of. Three of the skirts I forced myself to part with tonight have been staples in my wardrobe for a long time. I figured that 7 years might be long enough and it was time to let them go. It was difficult to put them in the bag but I made myself do it.  Part of me is worried that I’ll be kicking myself and longing for my favorite outfits come next summer but I feel ok with my decision for now.

I had no hesitation at all when it came to the shoes under my bed. I used to wear the heck out of all of my little kitten heels from target but I can’t even stand to wear those anymore. I don’t understand how I ever kept those dang things on my feet. So away they go along with almost every other pair of heels I own. I kept a brown pair and a black pair of work heels and  my red weeding shoes. I know I’ll never wear those red shoes again. The stupid things gave me blisters before I even walked down the aisle, but I’m just not ready to donate them yet. The rest of my shoes are on a rack by the front door.

So now I am exhausted and ready for bed.  But I think that was a pretty successful start to week two of our Experimental Collective on Simplicity.  Although, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure there is one more bin of summer clothes that I didn’t fit into this summer when I WASN’T pregnant so I’m certain they won’t fit me next summer when I have a new baby so away they’ll be going tomorrow! I think I’ll dig into the closet and do a big purge in there so Daniel’s clothes will have a little more room. :) Then Daniel will have to tackle his dresser and see about thinning out the two entire drawers full of t-shirts.

Nightstand Before

Nightstand After

Dresser Before

Dresser After

So many shoes

Chapter 52: So Close!

Posted on by
Reply

And I was doing so well! Twenty days in a row is the longest into November I’ve gone for National Blog Posting Month so I’d say I didn’t do too terribly.  I shold have scheduled some posts for the week of Thanksgiving. We were so beat by the time we got to Memphis on Wednesday night that I completely forgot about a post for the day. After that it was just easy to give up for the week and visit with Daniel’s family.

On Thanksgiving Day I got up early with my little cooking schedule and cooked Thanksgiving dinner with the help of Daniel’s Aunt Jan (not to mention her brother who sent up TWO trays of homemade dressing). We planned to eat at noon and the ten of us were digging in at 12:25. Success!

Daniel climbed up in the attic and pulled down the toy box that his grandad made for him when he was little.  It needs a little bit of love to fix a few things and I had to spend some quality time with it and a bottle of Goo Gone to peel off a sticker, but we are so thrilled to be able to have such a meaningful piece in the baby’s room!

Daniel’s childhood toy box. Ready to come home to our nursery.

Goo Gone vs a 25 year old sticker

Scrub Scrub Scrub

I give up. Time to resort to the fingernails.

Success! The leftover rectangle is even kind of a sweet reminder of Tiny Daniel.

What better toy for a kid than the best dog on the planet?

Now we just need to find someone to fix the joints and the bottom.  The toy box isn’t put together with nails, it has something like tongue and groove joints on the edges holding it together, which it neat, but a few are pulling apart. There is a missing brace on the bottom as well so it doesn’t sit evenly right now, but once we get those fixed it is going to be the perfect addition to the nursery. The room is still the guest bedroom full of junk right now but that will be changing next week in Week 2 of our Simplicity Experiment.  Can’t wait!

 

Chapter 51: Simplifying our stuff…the journey begins

Posted on by
Reply

Tonight we met with our Simplicity Experimental Collective to share our decisions on what excesses we will be eliminating from our lives over the next 4 weeks. Some are cutting back on excess stuff. Some are cutting back on stress by getting more sleep or carving out more open time during the day. Some are pointing their aim at food. It was clear that a lot of thought went into everyone’s decision making process over the last week. I am enjoying this chance to get to know friends on new levels and to begin to get to know new friends through this experience. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Experimental Collectives are the way to go for me. This format reaches me in a way that church small groups never have.

Our homework between now and next Tuesday is to work up written plans on how we will execute our experiments   For some it will be a simple (not easy, just simple) plan: don’t go on Facebook or drink coffee.  For others it will require a lot of research and planning ahead; choosing how to radically pair down foods in a healthy and impactful way and planning menus in advance. For Daniel and me it means deciding how we want to go about getting rid of our extra stuff.  Will we go by genre of stuff? One room each week? Number of items per day? Will we sell things on Craigslist? Donate to thrift stores? Hold items back to possibly use in a Vintage Fellowship sale or thrift store booth to raise money for a cause? What measures will we use to decide if we are being successful along the way? I do know that we are both extremely motivated to make this move. We will have some hard decisions to make in the next several weeks and I wouldn’t be surprised if some tears were shed. This is a tiny house and the two of use have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years living on our own. I’m sure we will probably be learning a lot about which attachments to objects are healthy and which need to be broken. It’s a lofty goal and Daniel doesn’t think it’s possible, but I want to get this house feeling empty before we start adding lots of baby furniture and items. That may not happen in the next six weeks. It may take a few rounds of purging before we get there, but I’m determined. It might mean some sacrifices, some of them painful, but I think it will be worth it in the long run.

Wish us luck and stay tuned!

Chapter 50: Winning! “A Year of Biblical Womanhood”

Posted on by
Reply

I had a great start to my Monday this morning.

After I got around and completed my morning ritual of hanging over the toilet for a few minutes (I feel like all I ever talk about on here is barfing or trying not to barf) I checked my email and found that I had won a copy of Rachel Held Evans’ new book “A Year of Biblical Womanhood!” I have been dying to read this book and waiting anxiously for it to come out!

Rachel Held Evans is kind of a superstar in my eyes, in big part because she often stands up to Mark Driscoll and his insane and offensive macho drivel. Which I sort of totally love. I nearly peed all over myself one day when she commented on my friend’s Facebook wall. Because he knows her. I haven’t met many famous people so the fact that my friend is friends with a famous person who I admire sends me into dizzy spells.

I won the book from a blog giveaway at Kurt Willems’ blog The Pangea Blog over at Patheos. So a big fat Thank You to Kurt for feeding my book addiction and decided girl crush on Rachel Held Evans. I seriously can’t type just part of her name. I have to type the whole thing.

I can’t wait to read it! I’ll be back with a review sometime later. I’m not sure how long it will take to get the book plus I have to finish up Fundamorphosis first.  :)

Chapter 49: And so begins Holiday Season 2012

Posted on by
Reply

Suddenly the Holiday Season has begun. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I think I have more work events scheduled already than I will have personal social ones. Seriously.  We had one potluck for Thanksgiving and are planning another one sometime after Christmas. Between now and Christmas we will also have a cookie exchange, an Ugly sweater contest day, a Dirty Santa gift exchange, a blood drive (not that I’m participating in THAT one) and an after-hours Christmas party.

In just a few days it will be Thanksgiving and I’ll be cooking lots of food for Daniel’s family (yay!) I love cooking for people. Especially when that gets to be my plans for the day instead of fitting it in with all the other stuff I usually have to do. So we are preparing for that meal and making lists for stuff for us to buy and stuff for Daniel’s dad to pick up and what to take with us for when we’re just hanging out. I will probably spend too much time looking through my knitting books and yarn stash and deciding if I should knit some Christmas presents or baby stuff. Then I will bring way too many projects with me because I KNOW I will get tired of or frustrated with a project if I only bring one or two. I need options!

We’ll also need to get the house company-ready for our Simplicity Experimental Collective meeting Tuesday night. I love having groups meet at our house SO MUCH! It’s so much less stressful for me, I get to welcome people into our home and I don’t have to hurry and figure out what to do for dinner plus it is the best motivation for keeping the place cleaned up! This week we will be discussing what we chose for our “Eliminating Excess” experiment.  Our homework for the week of Thanksgiving is to make a plan. Some will require more of this than others.  Robb (Who wrote a book, by the way) was excited that we aren’t starting to execute our experiments until next week because he was thinking of simplifying to only a few foods (7) to eat for the three weeks we’ll be experimenting and he refused to start during the Thanksgiving Feast.  I don’t blame him. I’ve seen Vanessa’s Thanksgiving Dinner Photos.  Daniel and I have decided to choose “Stuff” as our item of excess to eliminate. We have got to simplify, first of all because we don’t have room for what we have now, let alone a baby. Secondly I just want to bring the baby home to a simpler way of living than we have now. But I hope to get into that in a post on Tuesday. I’m excited and nervous. It’s going to be a wonderful experience, though, I know it.

Chapter 48: In which a giant baby terrifies me and my lady bits

Posted on by
Reply

Today we took dinner to our dear friends Sara and Jamal who brought home their sweet boy, Eli, this week.  This little dude is partly responsible for our little munchkin’s timing because Jamal was ever so slightly relentless in telling us to hurry up already so our kids would be in the same grade and we could be clueless first time parents together.  And they will and we will! Eli is a little stinker and flipped himself breech so his mama had to have a C-section earlier in the week to retrieve him.  Oh, and he was 10 pounds and 21 inches long.  O_O

I’m going to be perfectly honest here and admit that I was nervous to go see him because I was afraid his giant baby-ness would scare the crap out of me. And he did. Yup, just a little. He’s such a little sweetie but he is almost as big as I was when I was 6 months old! Daniel was apparently an enormous baby and quite barrel chested.  I do not approve. Neither do my lady bits. Since the moment I got the text with Eli’s stats on the day he was born I have been telling our baby that it better take after its mom.  Lots of the women in my April 2013 pregnancy group on The Bump have already been feeling their babies flutter around for a while so I have decided to convince myself that I haven’t felt anything yet because our baby is tiny and is going to stay that way!  Everyone just laughs at me. Hey, denial is a nice place to be when your friend just had a 10 pound baby.