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I am a procrastinator, it’s true, but I am also a planner. I have compiled my 9 easy steps to preparing for your pregnancy announcement a year and a half (or more) in advance. Why not 10? Because there are only 9, that’s why.

It’s easy, really.

  1. Get engaged.
  2. Make an appointment with  a photographer for engagement photos. We used Northwest Arkansas Wedding Photographer Cherron of Raining Light Photography. We chose the Dickson Street Bookshop as our main location because we both love books and spent many a Saturday afternoon being adorable and giggly in those stacks while we were dating.
  3. Take photos with as many funny titles as you can find.  Book category labels work too, “This way to Horror” for instance. Make sure the arrow is pointing to one of the engaged people. The cheesier the better. +10 if it makes a dirty joke.
  4. Make your way to the “Expecting” section and find a book that clearly calls out “I am currently growing a human.” This will be the lady-prop. Actually, it might be a really amusing gentleman-prop.  Crap. We should have thought of that.
  5. Hide this photo. Do not include it in the photo book you make to use as your wedding guest book. Because, seriously, who wants to feel obligated for ever and ever to keep a little white puffy-covered book that has only the first few pages filled with people’s signatures? You’ll want to throw it out because it takes up space. But it’s from your wedding! No, thank you.
  6. Get married. (Or don’t. That’s fine too. I don’t care. But, if you don’t, you just ruined step 5 and now there aren’t 9 steps anymore. Did you even think about that? You have ruined my 9 easy steps. Ruined them. Do you really want to be that kind of person?)
  7. Steel yourself for the coming onslaught of everyone you know demanding that you begin procreating immediately. In fact, because you have included the photo of the bride looking shocked next to the “Sex” section label, the groom’s mother will write something about hurrying up with that already and get her some grandbabies. It won’t be awkward at all. (That’s a total lie by the way. It will be very, very awkward. And it’s in your guestbook/photo album. FOREVER.) Just ignore them all or ask them really personal and embarrassing questions in response. Because, basically asking someone “Are you having unprotected sex?” is pretty dang personal.
  8. Whenever you are ready, go for the gold. Don’t tell anyone if you don’t want to. I told my mother if she asked me when I was going to get pregnant one more time I would not answer the phone anymore. I am not a walking, talking uterus. I also garden and knit.
  9. When the time is right, bust out your carefully prepared photo.

Like so:The Big Announcement

Voila! You I have executed a perfectly planned pregnancy announcement.

Definitely leave me a link if you decide to try it out.

I wrote this post at my favorite pub, Tanglewood Branch, where I did not order a beer.  April seems like a long way away right now.  *sigh*

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